Meow human friends. Leo here. I am very pleased to see that some people have liked my diary entry from last week so I have hijacked mummy’s blog again today.
This week I have learned a new trick. When my minions get up, I now lay on my back with my tummy in the air, looking all fluffy and cute. I position myself on the landing, where it is narrow enough that I can spread out across the whole width of their path. As they come out of their bedroom, they are lured into a false sense of security by my cuddliness. It is then that I attack, by bashing their legs with my paws. Seeing them jump is rather amusing, although they make a lot of cross noises and don’t go straight to my food bowl. I can’t imagine why not, as I’m being very loveable by wriggling playfully so they can’t get past, and stroking their legs with my claws.
The rest of the week has been largely uneventful. Each day went something like this: get up, eat, return to my cosy place, sleep, eat some more, go outside for a poo, hide from the big scary black cat, climb up to the lounge window and cry, come back in, eat some more, return to my cosy place and sleep. That’s a typical day during the winter. It’s too cold to be outside for long and I’m determined not to play with all the toys the minions have bought for me, despite them dousing them in the floaty smelly spray. I think they call it the cat nip…I don’t know what that means, but it makes me want to rub myself all over whatever they spray it on. I think they’re drugging me.
I skirted over a rather terrifying topic, about which I feel I must elaborate. The scary cat. To all those other cats out there who are suffering from immense fear of venturing outside due to a huge, hairy bully down the street – you are not alone. I feel your pain. The cat on our street is big and fluffy, but do not be fooled. He is not cute. He is mean. He comes into my garden, despite knowing it’s my turf, and taunts me by doing so when I’m inside watching through the window. He’s much bigger than me so I tend to come off worse when I try to fight him, but do not despair. I will get my revenge. One day. I’m already plotting. My plan currently involves one of my toy mice, the cat nip spray, some string and a dustbin propped open with a stick. I just have to work out how to use the spray and how to tie the mouse to the string. Oh, and how to get the dustbin to stay open long enough to wedge in the stick without falling in the bin myself. Once I have done these things it will be bye bye baddie cat. Hehehe.
Until the next time, humans!