Greetings humans. Leo here. Firstly, I should introduce myself. I am a cat. A furry little bundle of mischief if you will. I have two human minions who bow to my every beck and call. One is small and likes to pet me all the time, which I can put up with every now and then, particularly when it involves tickling my chin. The other is tall and hairy. He makes a good sleeping place when he’s sat on the sofa, and has squishy bits that are good for digging my claws into.
I am a cat of simple pleasures. My pastimes include finding places I shouldn’t be going into and going into them; displaying myself to anyone who’s around, whether they want to see it or not; and running away from the big, scary, black cat down the street.
Whilst my female slave is busy, and thinks I’m sleeping in my cosy place, I have ventured into the office to sleep on the keyboard, but instead I have decided to start documenting my adventures.
Yesterday was a mixed day. I spent most of it sleeping (good), some of it getting a cold bum in the snow (not so good), and some of it recovering from having thrown up on the carpet (not good at all).
I don’t understand why I was sick. All I had eaten was some old food from the floor, some questionable substances from outside, some washing-up liquid water in a pan with creamy sauce around the edges, and quite a bit of my own hair. I had also spent some time licking the sink and drinking water from anywhere other than my water bowl, which smelled too clean for my liking. A pretty standard menu, so does not explain the vomiting. Mummy was quite nice when I was sick. She made gentle noises and stroked me, but looked rather cross, which I don’t understand because I made sure to be sick on the carpet, rather than the lino that was right next to me. I know Mummy wanted to test her new carpet washer so this was a very kind thing to do.
Not much to tell you today. Spent most of this morning scratching the door in order to get some company for eating my breakfast. Mummy got up, got angry, and went back to bed. I was not happy. This sort of dereliction of duty is a court-martial-able offence. I will express my displeasure with further crying after my nap.
Every time I get an opportunity to do so, when my minions aren’t looking, I will sneak on here to type out some more of my thoughts and anecdotes. But for now, dear reader, I bid you adieu, as I have more, important, resting to do, followed by some exhibitionist cleaning.